Stories & Rants

New Day, Same story.

Today’s freakish 30 degrees, end of April heat awoke the city. The weather was like mid-August rather than the end of April. The heat caught people by surprise, by calling for the summer wardrobe without even having a preparatory month of self-loathing at the gym. I thought the fish too would be caught by surprise and be ready to jump onto some hooks.
They weren’t. In fact I saw none. The black flies and mosquitoes wasted no time in resuming where they left off last summer, any fish in their right mind would have been having a feeding frenzy on the fly congregation on the calm waters of the Herbert River. The only thing we caught were some grass fish, stick fish, dirt fish and t-shirt sleeve fish.
The highlight of the evening (other than the mid-august feeling temperature) was when we had our backs turned to the water rigging up our rods, when we heard a very loud splash, and looked to see large ripples in the water. Frightened, my brother assumed someone was playing a joke on us and threw a big rock into the water, and I assumed a small shark must have jumped out of the shallow river. Oddly enough it turned out to be neither. A minute later, a beaver surfaces and slaps the water with his tail. I’m not sure what it means when they do that, but we assumed it was a mockery. It has gotten to the point now that beavers are coming out to see the guy who has caught one fish in his entire life.
Though unsuccessful, and my streak still intact, I am still determined to catch a fish this year. I may have to eventually buy one at the grocery store, hide it in my bag, and attach it to my hook when no one is looking. I may even get a live lobster before going fishing in a river somewhere with some friends, attach it to a hook when no one’s looking, put my camera on video mode, and record the reactions when I pull a canner out of the river! You can come up with some really good ides when you’re unsuccessfully fishing.

Greg Taylor
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